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Post by petra6 on Jan 7, 2022 19:29:17 GMT -5
Comes the thief on tepid wind to form the flock, one by one
From field and tree they come, a pointilist smudge upon the sky.
From mountain and valley, then away and away.
And what of September, Her rolled sleeve morns?
The unbuttoning of hours on summer's green frock?
What of that smile the warms into chirping midnight?
Lift off you clouds of dark and light, banked low on the gold grass hill.
I am too much here to loose the man in winter boxes...dozing.
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Thief
Jan 7, 2022 22:48:03 GMT -5
Post by judih on Jan 7, 2022 22:48:03 GMT -5
very lyrical, beautiful.
(if I may - a few typos: What of that smile the warms - should that not be 'that warms'? and "I am too much here to loose the - needs to be 'lose' the) and my editor mind hopes you don't mind.
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Thief
Jan 8, 2022 0:10:24 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Petra on Jan 8, 2022 0:10:24 GMT -5
Thanks Judih, you got me on the first one but i think i prefer the word loose as on unloose., And no, I don't mind being edited at all. I taught middle school English for years, and yes we read things critically. Thanks for spotting this here. I was afraid it would go unnoticed.
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Thief
Jan 8, 2022 1:34:54 GMT -5
Post by judih on Jan 8, 2022 1:34:54 GMT -5
Thanks Judih, you got me on the first one but i think i prefer the word loose as on unloose., And no, I don't mind being edited at all. I taught middle school English for years, and yes we read things critically. Thanks for spotting this here. I was afraid it would go unnoticed. I always look for 'new posts' in AC, and so I found this and was delighted to do so. Thanks for responding to my comments and clarifying your use of the word 'loose'. I appreciate it! And you, too, worked to bring English skills to middle school students. I just retired from teaching English to middle and high school kids. (27 years of it). I now teach only mindfulness to middle schoolers within the school system. Good weekend to you!
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Thief
Jan 8, 2022 13:57:13 GMT -5
via mobile
judih likes this
Post by Petra on Jan 8, 2022 13:57:13 GMT -5
Ah comrade, good to know you and thanks for your service.
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