Post by goldenmyst on Nov 9, 2022 21:41:12 GMT -5
Image: Flapper_Wives_(SAYRE_14340) University of Washington, Special Collections Source J. Willis Sayre Collection of Theatrical Photographs, 1924 Public Domain Wikimedia Commons
She Was My Hot Tomato Heaven Scent
“Hey this is the commissary kitchen and I am a cook, not a skin flick actress.”
“You wouldn’t really knife me.”
“It is a butter knife as a show of force but harmless. You aren’t afraid of a mere woman are you?”
“That blade could scar me for life.”
“You are acting like a girl. Be a man and quit fretting like a woman who broke her fingernail.”
“If you put down that steel I’ll give you a kiss.”
“Making a pass at me is pretty daring for a man
who equates a butter spreader with a dagger.”
“That little table knife looks less menacing as your femininity looks more compelling.”
“Well if you want sugar, spice, and all things nice then you’ll find it in the pastry I am desperately trying to keep from burning in the oven.”
“Those crepes smell too good to let burn.”
“Listen, a silent movie from the nineteen twenties is showing at the theater. We can be the voice-over when you woo me with clever words instead of a come on.”
“Popcorn will get you in the mood.”
“My kitty cash will buy the refreshments for us both. I am not the girl at the kissing booth whose smooches you can buy.”
“I know. You aren’t a cheap date. So I’ll throw in chocolate bars for your sweet tooth.”
“You must think chocolate is the key to me in every sense of the word. I require a box of chocolates and nothing less.”
“We can’t bring food from outside into the theater.”
“Then order it for home delivery you fool.”
“If I get you Parisian candy, will the kiss also be French?”
“The customary cheek kiss for relations after a long separation.”
“We’ve only been apart for the duration of my fieldwork.”
“Oh, darling It feels like years. Courtship is a slow boat to China. Remember that.”
“Sam, is there ketchup for those soy burgers?”
She replies, “Vegan lasagna is Italian without the cholesterol. But our club is Hudson’s Bay vegans for undisturbed cookery. Nosy husbands get poke
salad for supper.
“When are you going to fire the oven up for pizza?”
“You like my pizza because it cheats on veganism with mozzarella.”
“And because you garnish it with crickets.”
“They put the crunch in Italian along with extra protein.”
“Lip gloss in gift wrap is your birthday present.”
“Your ulterior motive is transparent. Besides you are supposed to surprise me and lipstick isn’t special. Think of something near and dear to my heart. Maybe a ceramic artwork made by your own hands.”
“Yet, the shine of your lip gloss is the promise of what love can bring about given nurturing and care. But a valentine’s card with hearts crayoned by me would be a gift from the heart.”
“You are on the right track but I am desirous of a gold locket with your miniature portrait inside.”
“Real gold would cost a month’s wages.”
“Pyrite is a fool’s paradise.”
“It will be solid gold, not gilded with the veneer of a thin coating.”
Sam says, “Gold is hard to come by these days so my locket must be imported. But a gold heart lives beyond the wearer as an heirloom for generations.”
“Nostalgia is a powerful influence even beyond the grave.”
Sam replied, “Then it is settled. Now, let the glitter of a precious metal be the gleam in my heart. Until this treasure arrives a dozen roses from the hydroponics garden not just on Valentine’s Day would defy senility. They may wilt but every time I catch a scent of the fresh flowers I’ll melt into a puddle of romance.”
“Your kiss would do that for me.”
“I hope you wouldn’t get your reminders from the kiss of another woman.”
“Only the sound of lips smacking.”
“Nice recovery. We’ll deliberate on this lip-smacking business later. Kissy face can wait for a sustainable ecosystem if need be.”
“What is wrong with physical pleasure?”
“Your obsession with my lip sugar is a hunger kind of like a vampire’s craving. Maybe I should bite my lip and draw blood so you can enjoy the
kiss all the more. Why should I read Bram Stoker when I have a living Dracula for my husband?”
“You don’t see me salivating at the blood bank.”
“Hey, do you want garlic with your lasagna?”
“Of course, no pasta is complete without garlic.”
“You aren’t a vampire because those creatures are repelled by garlic.”
“If you kiss me on the lips I’ll fast for a day and you can donate the money for what would have been my portion to your favorite charity. You won’t feel like a charm bracelet on a flea market rack that way.”
“Treat me like a crochet afghan your Mama made that you would never sell at a flea market.”
“Honey, I wouldn’t trade you for an original Stradivarius.”
“Silly bean, you don’t play the violin.”
“No, but I love baroque music.”
“Did you marry me for my collection of Mozart albums?”
“Actually for your Vivaldi albums.”
“You joker. I knew there was a reason I wore my burgundy lipstick today. Pucker up, cowboy.”
“You know even antiques get lost.”
“I know that we live in hungry times and my locket may get sold to a jewelry shop that could melt it down because its worth to them isn’t sentimental. What may be my illusion is that we are the leaves of a Joshua tree that survives for centuries after the foliage falls off whose memories are the water stored in its trunk and branches like those kept in my locket.”